This is one of those blustery November days when I'm stuck in my future.

I can't get away from it. From the me I could be, will be, want to be, hope I have the guts to become. I'm so far away from everyone I love here, I'm off in my own new place, somewhere clean, somewhere fresh, in the middle of some blustery November day a year from now.

I'll probably be a little hungry. I'll probably have a paper to write. I'll probably be struggling to make friends. I'll probably be listening to music. But I'll be on my own in a big city where I can go out at night and either sit by the water's edge and listen, or dive into the middle of the city and shut out all the silence. I'll be walking under dark shadows of gothic buildings fingering my keys in my pockets, pulling my jacket a little tighter around my neck, and smiling at the crisp stars above me.

Independence. Sweet, sweet, independence, you're the only thing that's keeping me in my classes on nights like this.


Headed to Chicago:

You and I, we have history
way back when's and remember the time's
all too often's and I know you better's
I love you, I do
but it's time for me to go
I hope you know
These have been some of the best ones yet
But the better's out there
waiting
calling
spinning underneath the Chance and the Dreams
dancing.

So I'm leaving you, dear
heading out to somewhere...
different
away
farther
I need the faster, the louder, the appreciation of silence
your slug-filled monotony
your rain dropped blues
and overly yellowed greens
grate on my imagination

I need space from what I've known
to see who I can be
and find out what's left of me
when I've conquered the Windy City.