Writing college essays is poop.

See title. Now see "International Honours Programme between St. Andrews and William and Mary" 's 1,500-2,000 word essay. Poop.

I hate repeating myself to people and I feel like that's all I'm doing during the college app process. "HEY, LOOK AT ME! I'M AWESOME BECAUSE I DO STUFF ABOUT STUFF! WOO!" Poop. All of it. P.O.O.P.

Okay, fine, there was *one* fun essay I wrote. It's basically 500 words that tell you something about me. See what you think:

Optional Essay or Submission:
Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extracurricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful?

We know that nobody fits neatly into 500 words or less, but you can provide us with some suggestion of the type of person you are. Anything goes! Inspire us, impress us or just make us laugh. Think of this optional opportunity as show and tell by proxy and with an attitude.

                                                        From One Shore to the Other:

A red dirt path led to a dusty wooden platform where Mary peered at a long cable that spanned the Nile River. Sweating under the hot African sun, Mary’s attention returned to her guide’s instructions. “Now missus, you step into the harness here. Good, cinch it tightly around your waist. You jump off the ledge there, missus, and fly over the river till I come to get you.” She glanced toward the ledge and stepped away. “Then just drop the rope down and I pull you back. Okay, missus?” “Huh? Oh, okay,” replied Mary, still a little unclear. “Okay, missus, off you go!”said the guide as he clipped the harness in. Mary released her grip on the guide and flew over the edge superman-style across the headwaters of the Nile, suspended from the cable by pulley and harness.

“Oh my” she breathed as she opened her eyes. It was breathtakingly beautiful, whizzing 25 feet above crocodiles and hippos whose backs peeked out of the water beneath her. Her progress slowed as the cable rose before reaching the opposite shore. “Hey, I’m only half-way there. Surely he doesn’t expect me to swim.” Although concerned, she had faith her guide would come to her rescue. Bouncing slowly up and down, she struggled to look back toward the shore she left. In time, her fear eased as a boat arrived below and the guide called up to her. “Toss down the rope, missus!” Rope? she thought, as panic shot through her stomach, “What rope?” The guide had forgotten to clip on the retrieval rope before she leapt. Too many times to count, the guide flung a rope tantalizingly close to her fingertips. Exhausted, Mary was towed back to the shore she had left nearly an hour earlier, never to reach the opposite bank.

Two years ago, I sat at a restaurant on the Nile River in Uganda with a group of volunteers attending the dedication of a high school. Although the members of my party laughed heartily that night, the day’s adventures taught us valuable lessons. First, never start anything that doesn’t get you all the way to your destination, and second, never zip-line across the Nile without a safety line, no matter how fun it sounds. In life, we face many choices; we learn lessons from our own decisions and from those of others. Thanks to Mary, none of us would zip line the Nile without a retrieval rope. Thanks to me, none of my colleagues will ride as a third passenger, side-saddle, in a long skirt and sandals on the back of a piki-piki (motorcycle taxi) through the dirt roads of Uganda (but that’s another story and even less likely to deliver you to your destination).

In my next great adventure, I’m not expecting a rescue boat to toss me a safety line. That’s why I am seeking a college that can deliver me to the other shore, graduated and better prepared for the world.

I liked it personally. It made me laugh and was fun to write. Now if only I could get away with writing about kilts, hot scottish accents, and the terrors of mini-golf in this next essay, I'd be happy.

Scottland here I come! <3