SAT
Standardized
Aptitude
Testing
Or something stupid like that. I've been "training" for it for months now and the damn thing is tomorrow. I've been doing the whole "I'll just get what I get when I get it" thing for some time now, just relaxing, studying hard, and ignoring the significance of it, but there's less than 12 hours to go now and I'm starting to freak out a bit.
I'm worried that I won't be able to get into University of Chicago.
I know, those of you who know me think this is dumb. "she started a non-profit" blah blah blah. Smart kid and stuff. Yes, I know. I know I do some cool things. I know that I can seem impressive on some levels. But the SAT has always been a struggle for me. I don't know what it is really, but it's just hard. I don't LIKE it Bob. I don't like it at all.
So I'm worried. I'm worried that it'll be this STUPID SAfrickin'T that keeps me out of my dream school. I would hate myself for that. And now I'm wondering if I should have stayed up those extra hours to make sure I did all of the videos and homeworks for Kaplan. All of the quizzes online and stuff. I didn't do them. I'm not even sure I did half. I think I did. But I could be kidding myself there. I don't know. They were just so BORING and I didn't have TIME to do them. I had to work on my non-profit. On my senior paper. On keeping my grades up in Spanish. ....but there's this little voice inside my head. (The one I wish would shut up right now) that tells me that I did have time. That I could have stayed up.
Deep breath.
In, out.
Okay. I know that I am capable of raising my score. And I know that UofC has taken kids with my level SAT scores before. I know that I can make this stupid test happen. AND I know that it's the last time I'll ever have to take it. EVER. (Granted, there's still the SATII's in Dec, but those are fun... sorta...).
I am bringing chocolate and bananas and water to the test and I've got to remember to grab my ID, pencils, and ticket for sure. And a jacket becuase Sheldon is stupid.
Wish me luck.
On a happier note... (I feel compelled to put a happier note here since the last two blog posts have been majorly depressing)
I'm totes going to the corn maze with Alice/Jessie tomorrow night. That should be awesome. Hopelessly lost in the dark with things jumping out to scare us. Woohoo! Sounds like a fun night to me! And I get to help Alice with her zydrate costume (note to self, go get zydrate materials and ransack magic closet). We're going to have a serious Harry Potter de-brief too.
Yes, I finished the books. All seven. I can't believe it. I actually loved them. New favorite series? I think so. More than a series to me? Oh yes.
You see, Harry Potter actually helped me out a lot. The past few weeks (and for a few more after this) I have been subjecting myself to all the horrors committed by Joseph Kony and his cronies. Terrible, terrible acts unfathomable to me in their evil and despicable nature.
Cathrine, seventeen said this:
We would walk therough villages where the civilians had fled... we would sleep in deserted villages, and eat and stay in the houses. Sometimes there were villagesr who had stayed behind ... the rebels would accuse them [of supporting the government]. One day, they found a man riding a bike. They just cut off his foot with an ax. When his wife came out of the house, they told her to eat the foot. I turned away not to see what happened.
How the hell does this happen???!!! This level of evil. I'm not even able to comprehend where it comes from. How someone could think something like that up. Raping the wife? Killing her? That makes more sense to me than this. This is just vile. Utterly vile.
Harry Potter has a lot of needless killing in it also. Harry sees it, has to deal with it. Has to know that it was all done so that he could defeat Voldemort someday. I guess I've kind of equated Kony with Voldemort. Death Eaters with his cronies. And the good people like Fred, Hedwig, Madeye, Lily, James, Lupin, Tonks, Dumbledore, Snape with the kids and the people murdered. People die so that others may live (hey, that's the coast guard motto). And there is one gigantic flaw with the theory of both the Death Eaters and the LRA commanders.
"The Greater Good"
...Good is good. There is nothing greater than good. It is the ultimate. Whenever someone in history tries to do something "greater" than good it ends up with hurt, pain, maliciousness. Take Voldemort, or the Crusades, or the plight of the LRA, or Hitler. Every single time. More pain, more trouble. Nothing is greater than good. We should do things "for good" or "for the good of the people" never for something "greater" than good, because it simply doesn't exist.
All in all, I really did love the Harry Potter series. I love the world that Rowling created. It's on par for me with the universes created by masterminds like Whedon for Firefly or Star Wars, or C.S. Lewis and Narnia's universe. They are all so complete, so full of strict governing laws that were thought out and carefully manipulated within the plotlines. The characters that arise, no matter how fantastic (ie: Harry, River, Luke, Aslan) all seem to fit perfectly into their universes because they are governed by the same laws that the entire plot is. When you have a main character that diverges from the universal laws set in the text (Edward...) your story ceases to have any believability. And I usually stop reading. :P
I'd love to go to Hogwarts now. I'd love to get a spell-check quill for my SAT. I'd love to say "accio remote" and not have to search through couch cusions. I know that these things will never happen, but I am so happy to be able to have sunk into this other place for a while when my mind most needed it. And to have been confronted with characters who could help me bind up or answer the painful questions of my real life. Thanks Rowling, for that momentary reprieve.
....I need to go buy these books. I'm going to read them again soon I just know it. :)
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